Monday, June 18, 2012

Back again

I know it has been a year since I made my last post, but I have found some motivation to get started again.  Maybe this will be my only post for the next year, or maybe I will be posting regularly.  Recently I have been motivated by an individual who began their own blog that I have as a Facebook friend, though have not seen in person in many many years.  Though I began to think that I should at least give this another shot, and not think of myself as having somewhat failed by not living up to my expectations of myself.

You see, I believe I had the right intentions, to possibly help others out with my own ramblings about the things I know.  Most likely a part of me felt like I should share some of my insights through my life, career and schooling.  This was a very good thought, though I missed the point of this, which really should be about helping myself.  I'm sure most people know the analogy, when you are on the airplane, and the oxygen masks come down, that you are supposed to put the mask on yourself first, and then help your child get theirs own first.  This is what I was missing.  It is so easy for me to put the mask on someone else first, as it does make me feel much better about my existence.  Though if I am able to put the mask on myself, and then put the mask on the child, am I not accomplishing much more?  Am I not making two lives just a little bit better by this act and providing more overall?  

So I have probably exhausted that analogy, but back to the individual I was referencing in the blog and why I decided to write again.  I was amazed by his courage to be able to say who he is, what he believes, and why it's important to him.  I say courage because one of my biggest challenges in my life is allowing people in to my world.  Their world is easy for me.  I can peel back the onion on somebody else's life pretty deep, and frankly I can do this in many ways better than others.  This is why I decided to go back to school for my masters in counseling, because I love doing this, and I do believe that in some ways that I was meant to do that.  The onion that I often leave alone is my own.  Why do I pause with my own onion and avoid letting many people get to know who I am.  I have not had it back fire on me when I do let people in.  I have a beautiful relationship with my wife, mostly because I allow her in and mainly because I know that I love her and want her to know the real me.  

So like I began, maybe I'll post a lot, maybe I'll post a little.  Though my posting will be with in intent to put the mask on myself, and maybe putting the mask on someone else who reads this.  Maybe I'll talk about politics, religion, family, daily thoughts, what excites me, what bothers me, sports, general life, and yes probably a little Psychology action cause that's just who I am.  

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